"I have some news for the Nice Guys out there. When I hear the words 'Nice Guy' uttered by someone I only know slightly, I think back to the old saying that a gentleman is someone who would never dare call himself such.
But surely we all want to be with a nice guy, yes? You see, someone advertising himself as a Nice Guy isn't much of a selling point. The hooker equivalent would be a call girl advertising herself as human - a nice touch, yes, but we should take it as read unless advised otherwise. In the great
scheme of things, niceness in and of itself isn't a sufficient reason to fall for someone.
Add to which the observation that most people who would willingly call themselves Nice Guys are, in point of fact, jerks.
I am familiar with the usual protestations. Some self-professed Nice Guys like to complain (publically and often - why, some sad cases have made writing careers of this) that women are only attracted to men who treat them badly and are therefore incapable of recognising a good thing when they meet one. Which is complete and utter bollocks, and the line is an obvious one, repeated so often it has no real meaning to those who say it.
On the other is the canonical Nice Guy, also sometimes known as the Underappre
ciated Martyr. You will recognise his usual calling cards thus: uses the word 'genuine' on a dating site ('genuine man'? You don't say? Gee, I thought this was the TS/TV site, thank you for clearing that up...); always stays to the end of the night hoping to pick up stray girls; is physically over-familiar within minutes of meeting.
Nice guy will offer help - with strings attached. They may seem like inconsequential strings, but I assure you, he is tabulating what is 'owed' him in his mind. Meet for drinks and he pays? Go to the cinema and he happens to have already bought the tickets? Need a hand moving a few boxes? Look out, before you know it you'll be obliged to go on a number of pseudo-dates on nights you would rather be doing something else, such as scrubbing your bathroom floor. And
Nice guy will offer help - with strings attached. They may seem like inconsequential strings, but I assure you, he is tabulating what is 'owed' him in his mind. Meet for drinks and he pays? Go to the cinema and he happens to have already bought the tickets? Need a hand moving a few boxes? Look out, before you know it you'll be obliged to go on a number of pseudo-dates on nights you would rather be doing something else, such as scrubbing your bathroom floor. And
there will be no polite way out.
In other words, what Nice Guy is hoping to do is wear down your resistance over time in the hope that you will give in someday - most likely shortly after a breakup, or under the influence of alcohol - and bestow on him a Pity Fuck. And that ladies, is the worst sort of male lecherousness. The man who pretends to be your friend but is motivated by nothing more than the desire to get into your knickers. The man who only sees women as objects, not individuals.
An actual nice guy, sees you as a person first. Possibly a person he fancies, but a human nonetheless. Not a blow-up-doll replacement. Not a mark on a bedpost. Not a way to prove something to the ghosts of ex-girlfriends and bullies who belittled him along the way."
In other words, what Nice Guy is hoping to do is wear down your resistance over time in the hope that you will give in someday - most likely shortly after a breakup, or under the influence of alcohol - and bestow on him a Pity Fuck. And that ladies, is the worst sort of male lecherousness. The man who pretends to be your friend but is motivated by nothing more than the desire to get into your knickers. The man who only sees women as objects, not individuals.
An actual nice guy, sees you as a person first. Possibly a person he fancies, but a human nonetheless. Not a blow-up-doll replacement. Not a mark on a bedpost. Not a way to prove something to the ghosts of ex-girlfriends and bullies who belittled him along the way."
Those of you who do not follow me on Twitter or have me on Facebook may not know that I recently got my college results. 5 distinctions, 5 merits and 4 passes were my results. So that means I got enough UCAS points for uni and my course starts in September! Exciting! I have since taken it upon myself to celebrate and have been partying profusely ever since for the past 3 weeks. I did however take a break from this yesterday and decided to catch up on some light reading. Although I have already read the full Belle De Jour collection a number of times, after lending my friend Mollie 'Belle De Jour's Guide to Men' and her enjoying it so much, I picked it up yesterday and couldn't put it down once again. I couldn't resist posting some of this chapter on the difference between 'Nice Guys' and actual nice guys as it has sadly been dwelling on my love life recently. I also re-bought BDJ's Further Adventures off Ebay for a bargain price of £2.10 after my copy mysteriously vanished in the process of me lending it to a friend, ahem.
